Archive for the ‘Parenting’ Category
Reconnaissance or Rescue?But for those of us who don’t swoop in so low, the helicopter pejorative gets tiresome, even feels insulting. Society expects more of parents than ever before. My mother and father rarely scheduled playdates, helped with homework or drove me to school – three jobs my husband and I have routinely done. And never mind us. Many single moms working fulltime are doing the same. Should we lecture them about overparenting or just applaud? Also, what looks like hovering is often a legitimate rescue operation. “Wear that bike helmet!” “Get off that trampoline!” It can all sound excessive, especially to an older generation that never worried about such things. But more parental involvement has saved a lot of lives. As an article titled “Score One for the Helicopter Parents,” noted, the death rate for children from accidents has dropped nearly 30 percent in the last decade.
Mixed MessagesIn addition, the message to parents often feels so mixed. Teachers, experts and coaches tell us not to do too much, yet expect intensive involvement. Consider the modern mom and dad’s responsibilities: • Help with Homework: Drill those math facts! Be sure that printer has ink, that art supplies are stocked and that the math binder has the right number of pockets. You are your child’s first teacher! But step back when your youngster is given four hours of homework to complete in the two hours after dinner. • Get Your Child Involved in Sports: Have him on the field, in any part of the state, at any hour - all subject to last-minute change. (Helicopter? Harumph. How about a plane?) Buy expensive sports equipment. When they grow, buy it again. But please, in your free time - get a life! • Restrict Your Child’s Internet Use: However, make sure they have access to a computer and the Web for homework. (We had to buy our children laptops in fourth grade – ca-ching!) Keep your child off Facebook, but don’t miss activity updates there. When your kids are online, track and control them with software. When they get phones, read their texts. But do not hover! And on it goes. In an attempt to do it all – but not too much - it’s surprising that more copters don’t crash.
Left in the DustSo forgive me if the latest debate on helicopter parenting doesn’t resonate. I’m doing my best, without any piloting experience at all. I hate helicopters, having nearly crashed in a Russian hand-me-down while reporting in Nicaragua. (The same copter later exploded in flames.) Dependant on a single propeller, helicopters are dangerous, slow and deafeningly loud. Instead, if you find me suspended in the air, have a little sympathy. I’m probably hanging by a wing and a prayer, vision obscured by a little rocket that has left me in the dust.
***Do you get conflicting messages about how involved to be as a parent? Where do you draw the line? Share by commenting below!
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Are you a lark or an owl. How does it affect your life as a parent. Please share by commenting below!
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She recently passed away at 85, giving me a chance to reflect on her legacy, about Amoxicillin. Below is my eulogy for Elaine Blatt Artoe. May her wisdom benefit you too!
I first met Elaine when her daughter Beth and I became friends in high school. Later, I married her son Bill and she became my mother-in-law and then grandmother to our two girls, Buy Amoxicillin Without Prescription. Real brand Amoxicillin online, So mourning our loss, I often recall the things Elaine taught me about being a parent. Today I’d like to share 5 lessons from a stylish lady with a lot of smarts.
1. It is Small Stuff
One day Elaine walked into the room where I was playing with our toddler, Amoxicillin from mexico, Jessica. I was agonizing over whether Jessica needed a nap. Buy Amoxicillin Without Prescription, Actually, I was struggling with the whole nap thing. Buy Amoxicillin online cod, If we skipped the nap, would Jessica cry later. Was it time to end the nap. Is there life beyond the nap, Amoxicillin reviews.
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That was classic Elaine, Buy Amoxicillin Without Prescription. Those fancy feathers didn’t ruffle easily. She was always calm and had the one thing I lacked as a new parent: perspective.
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2. You Can Parent Different Children WellBuy Amoxicillin Without Prescription, My husband and sister-in-law are opposites. Beth is an extrovert - fast, witty and gifted in the arts. Bill is an introvert - slow, Amoxicillin without prescription, analytical and a professor of tax law.
As Beth once said, My Amoxicillin experience, “My brother is an oil well and I am an oil spill.”
It’s not easy to manage an oil well and an oil spill in the same house. What works for one child can be wrong for the other. Children can get locked into roles, Buy Amoxicillin Without Prescription.
The smart one. The gifted one, Amoxicillin blogs. The easy one. The hard one.
But this wasn’t a problem for Elaine because she accepted each of her children for who they were. Buy Amoxicillin Without Prescription, She encouraged them to bloom and grow in their separate directions, even when it meant moving far from home. Amoxicillin coupon, And so she leaves a great legacy with Bill and Beth: two remarkable people who are pursuing their different passions with purpose. Bravo Elaine, you did a great job.
3, australia, uk, us, usa. Involvement Counts
When I married Bill, I assumed that he’d come to his smarts naturally. Elaine had been a brilliant student, the only woman in her 1951 law school class at Northwestern, Buy Amoxicillin Without Prescription. Buy Amoxicillin online no prescription, Then I learned that Bill’s talents had not always been on display.
Bill liked to come home from high school, watch TV and eat cookies. He had trouble finishing his term papers, Amoxicillin price, coupon.
“He never knew when to stop researching,” Elaine complained years later. Buy Amoxicillin Without Prescription, But as my husband recalls, “Mom and I were a team.”
Every night they tackled his hardest assignments together. Amoxicillin dangers, Advanced math in high school almost killed them both. But Elaine never left the trenches no matter how hard it got.
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The torch is passed. Thank you Elaine.
4. It’s Not About Quality Time
There’s a lot of talk about spending quality time with your kids.
Invent a game, comprar en línea Amoxicillin, comprar Amoxicillin baratos. Buy Amoxicillin Without Prescription, Fly to Disney World. The idea is that if time with your children is meaningful, less of it is okay. Amoxicillin schedule, Well, Elaine didn’t do quality time. She just did time and a lot of it.
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She read endless bedtime stories to our girls. She spent days at the kids’ park. Amoxicillin photos, If Bill had to work in his office, she read a book there - all afternoon.
And that’s why I feel like some great foundation has been pulled out from under us. Regular visits. Buy Amoxicillin Without Prescription, Sunday phone calls. Birthday cards every year, rx free Amoxicillin.
The best kind of love is predictable and present.
In an age of Hallmark moments, Order Amoxicillin online overnight delivery no prescription, Elaine understood the simple value of being together. Her presence made all of us feel more secure.
5, Buy Amoxicillin Without Prescription. Wear Lipstick and Carry a Great Purse
About the time Elaine visited to see her first grandchild, my daughter Isabelle, taking Amoxicillin, I was facing that question new moms confront with the first baby: should I ever change my clothes again.
We weren’t going out. Amoxicillin wiki, I could wear sweats all day. And why bother with makeup or jewelry. Buy Amoxicillin Without Prescription, So I didn’t. Then Elaine arrived. She was wearing a smashing jacket, Amoxicillin alternatives, an armful of sparkling bracelets and two huge rings. And she wasn’t going anywhere either. Online Amoxicillin without a prescription, I went back to my room. I put on makeup, earrings and a new shirt, Buy Amoxicillin Without Prescription. I threw a lipstick in the diaper-changing bag. And I’ve been wearing it ever since.
It’s easy to lose part of yourself as a woman when you become a mother, canada, mexico, india. Elaine never did. Buy Amoxicillin Without Prescription, She helped remind me that a little pizazz is worth preserving - even just for yourself.
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And Something Else
This brings me, finally, to a story.
For Christmas we gave my mother-in-law a Kindle, Amoxicillin use. Setting it up, I asked Beth what Elaine’s Amazon password was.
“Wild Ones,” she answered, Buy Amoxicillin Without Prescription. Amoxicillin overnight, “Wild Ones?!”
I didn't know the wild one. I knew the devoted mother and grandmother, the mother-in-law whose love never wavered.
But then I thought about it: the big cruises, Amoxicillin samples, the big rings, the big husbands - her second, Amoxicillin long term, Lee, a former offensive tackle for the Chicago Bears.
I recalled the five books I loaded into the Kindle for Elaine - all mystery and detective stories, and that class picture from Northwestern Law School - with one female face staring out from a sea of men, discount Amoxicillin. Buy Amoxicillin Without Prescription, And it made sense.
Because in a life well-lived - an expansive life where you play many roles - a woman is many things. And if she’s smart, she keeps a little something to herself.
Has an older woman provided you with valuable parenting or life lessons. Please share by commenting below!
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Photo Credits © Jennifer Hull, official family photographer
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